My no good horrible very bad day

Well the first part of the day was fine, then the no good horrible very bad part started on the ride home from work. I was asked by my husband to pick the kids up from the bus which meant that I had to leave right at the end of the day, as soon as the kids leave my classroom to be able to get to the bus on time. So I did. I hightail it out to the car and get in and head on home. Driving down the road before I get to the on ramp for the interstate I notice a cop car pass me and then get in front of me a few cars up and then hop on the on ramp for the interstate. I think to myself, "boy, I hope he cruises along because I need to get moving today." I hate passing cop cars because I always feel weird, not that I do anything wrong or drive past the speed limit, because I don't ever, plus my car has a little shimmy in the front end when I even approach 60 miles an hour so I don't usually get up that high. Anyway, we all get on the interstate, the cop car then two cars in front of me and then me and then there is another car behind me that entered from the on ramp too. So we are cruising about 55 down the highway, and I am thinking "wow, I am going to make the bus." I call Kenneth on the phone and tell him that I will make it to the bus and not to worry. His phone is dying he says so the conversation is short.

Cruising along all of the sudden the cop car puts on his lights and pulls over to the side of the road. So the other two cars in front of me pass him and I pass him thinking "that is strange he hasn't pulled anyone over and is sitting with his lights on all by himself, weirdo" and I pass and the car behind me passes him. I glance in the rearview mirror and see that he now is pulling back out on the highway and moves into the middle lane. Stange cop. He passes the car behind me who backs off me and he approaches my car and slides in behind me with his lights on. Oh shit!

Okay now this is where I have to back up. A month ago my stepfather said I had a brake light out in the back. Kenneth said he would fix it. I told him then and I remember the conversation pretty clearly that he needed to fix it right away because I work where a lot of police are coming and going all the time and that I will get pulled for that. He said, "yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah I will fix it." (not in those exact words but you get the idea - in one ear and out the other.) I reminded him again a few weeks later and then again. So now this is three times!!! blah blah blah.

Here is the other little problem. AND I admit, I have had an expired license for some time now. Okay 4 years. I don't remember why I couldn't go get it renewed, yes I know how easy it is to renew, but I didn't and I am sure it is because of Kenneth that I couldn't get it renewed, I am sure it was. So last spring I went to get it renewed and I needed a birth certificate. Well, I don't have one so I had to order one from Maryland. It took some days and when it got here I arranged to go and get it renewed. I walked into DMV and they asked me for proof of residency like a water bill or deed to my house or something with proof on it. I didn't have it so I came home. I never went back, I am pretty sure it was because Kenneth couldn't give me the time to do it or something. So, yes, expired license.

Okay, so the cop is walking up to my car taps on my brake light and asks me for my drivers license and registration. So I lean over and get my registration out of the glove box. (sidebar here, it has been a very long time since I was pulled over and frankly I never look at the registration of the vehicle so I am not sure what it looks like) I pull out of the glove box something that has the DMV heading on it and hand it to him and say "is this my registration?" He takes it and looks at it and says "is this your car?" Uh, yeah, if I were going to steal a car I wouldn't pick one that looks as crappy as this minivan and has a bunch of trash in it and oh look bonus three carseats in the back!

"Yes sir it is".

"Did you know you have a tail light out."

"no sir I didn't. I am on my way to get my kids off the school bus, and am cutting it close right now."

"well your light is out."

"I promise to get it fixed right away. May I go now and get my kids, they are little and have no one waiting for them."

"I need to see your driver's license maam." (oh shit here it comes.)

(crap crap crap) I hand it to him.

"Ma'am did you know this expired."

"WHAT???? Expired???" (knowing full well, but putting on a good act)

"Why, yes it expired, uh in 2004"

"2004!!!! That was a long time ago."

"Do you have another one, a valid one?"

"No that is the only one I have."

"I need to get my kids, can I promise to get that fixed too?" Batting my eyelashes -okay not really but asking sweetly."

He walks away, Shit!

I sit there and I call my neighbor. No one answers, I call her cell phone, no one there. 5 minutes to the bus. I call Kenneth, he is way far away and won't make it. I hang up. I call the neighbor again and leave a message "please get my kids off the bus, I have been held up. Kenneth will pick them up from you."

The cop comes back smirking a bit, oh shit shit shit.

He hands me both tickets, one for the light (damn you Kenneth) and one for the license (bad me but wouldn't have gotten caught if Kenneth had fixed the light).

He then says, "is there anyone who can pick up the kids because I can't allow you to drive."

"WHAT???"

"No ma'am, you can't drive without a license. You need to find someone who can come get you and take you and your car home."

"you are kidding me!"

"No ma'am you can not drive."

"Well, it is going to be at least an hour before my husband can come get me. You are going to stay with me on the side of the road here until he comes right?" (remember we are on the shoulder of a HIGHWAY)

"Oh no, I can't stay with you that long but I will let you drive to the nearest exit and you can stay at the gas station until he comes."

"Okay" and he gets in his car and follows me 1/2 mile to the 7-11 and leaves me there.

Now you are thinking. Why didn't you just call Kenneth and tell him not to get you and you would drive yourself home? The cop is gone right? NO he hangs out in the intersection and starts pulling over cars who are running the red lights and lurking in the area. UGH!

I watched him pull over two cars while I was waiting for Kenneth to come get my ass. He gets our neighbor to drive him and the kids to get me. GREAT!!! Now we have involved others. I don't need the neighbors to hear about this. ACKKK!

This cop was young and what can only make sense to me is that he saw my brake light out way back on the other road and he had to think about it for a long time before deciding to pull me over. Then made such an ordeal out of pulling me over. I have NEVER seen a cop pull over let cars pass then get out in the traffic and then pull me over. please. That is a rookie move.

So I had to take the day off and go get my driver's license renewed today. Of all days today, my birthday! I made Kenneth go with me and sit there for the two hours that it took to take the test and the road test and get my picture taken, I made him pay the bill, and finally leave. THEN I made him get me breakfast! (okay that part was his idea)

I am legal now until 2016! Remind me when I need to get it renewed again.

Oh, when we got home from the ordeal last night, Kenneth put in the lightbulb in the back of the car. Do you know how long it took him? two minutes!

I seem to remember the last ticket I had was Kenneth's fault too. He made me drive his mercedes to work one day and I got pulled over for having expired plates. He had the stickers but hadn't bothered to put them on. He paid for that ticket too!