Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there happening upon my blog. Fathers are very important in a child's life. They give the family strength and security as well as unending love. They help pique the sense of adventure, curiosity, and constructivism.

My dad was all of those things to me. He fostered a love of history, travel, and curiosity. He could fix anything or at least had a bunch of ideas on how to make it work. He was the greatest fort builder using furniture and blankets. He loved camping, cooking, and his sense of roughing it was a canvas tent, a cooking box with tons of spices and food staples, steak or crabs, and a gourmet grilled dinner. Our camp kitchen had all the supplies to produce homemade spaghetti, steak oscar, and eggs your way. We always ended the evening with a campfire to beat all others in the park.

Dad always encouraged us in the sciences and I remember having long talks with him about space, the universe and our role in it. He wasn't much of a religious guy but he supported my mother's views and supported our participation in the Episcopal church. He was more of a science guy. Dad was very well read. He read everything that came into the house including teen magazines, home and gardens, and handyman. He had a long running subscription to Playboy and swore he liked it for the articles. We had two newspapers coming to our house daily and on Sundays he would wake up early and head out to the newspaper truck and purchase usually 3 additional papers. Dad went to the University of Maryland but never finished college. He knew everything and could converse on most any subject.

Dad had his quirks. He kept a very neat and clean house. He did almost all the cooking and cleaning including the laundry. When we would leave a half empty glass in the family room, run out of the room to get something, when we returned the glass was gone. It was not in just in the kitchen, it was emptied, rinsed and placed in the dishwasher. This became a problem when you were having a snack or bowl of cereal on a Saturday morning. If it was left unattended for any amount of time, it was GONE! I found myself taking my drinks, snacks, or cereal bowl to the bathroom with me. Dad never let us cook. He didn't like people in his space. We could help from time to time but it was rare. He also didn't like us to help with the dishes, laundry, or other cleaning chores. I literally didn't learn how to do a load of laundry until I went away to college and my roommate taught me. If we did help with the dishes we weren't allowed to stack them in the dishwasher. He had his own way of doing it and no one put the dishes in like he liked them. So we just stopped helping.

Dad took care of us. He rented a little house every year for the month of August in Nags Head, NC. We would go down there and he would return to work Tuesday through Thursday evenings and return to spend a long weekend. He would only burn up 6 days vacation time that way but we would have 3-4 weeks! This house was literally a shack by today's standards. No A/C, no telephone, no TV reception. Two bedrooms a bathroom, kitchen and a living room. No carpet but it had a great back porch, one block to the beach, and a wonderful continuous breeze. When he left to return home he would leave the refrigerator stocked with food, wine for mom, and enough clean clothes to get us through the days without him. With no TV reception for the months prior to our vacation Dad would video tape our favorite TV shows. We would go down with hours upon hours of the Muppets, Fraggle Rock, and MR. Rogers for my sister, our favorite sitcoms, Who's the Boss?, One Day at a Time, Andy Griffith, The Facts of Life, and PBS cooking shows and This Old house for himself. They were our best vacations.

Dad and dating as a teenager didn't mix well. He enjoyed opening the door when my dates would come get me, staring at them without saying anything to them, and then as we would be heading out the door he would call out to us, "home by 9, right?" just playing with him. However, even though my curfew was usually 11, I had many a first dates return me home at 9 for fear of my father. He was a tallish man standing 6 ft 1 inch. but he was rather large weighing about 250lbs. He used to tease me that he needed a "score card" to keep track of all the boys. Dad also enjoyed playing with us when my date would return me home. I would open the front door and cut off the lights to the porch so we could kiss a bit. Right about mid-pucker Dad would turn on all the lights including the spotlights hidden in the bushes for Christmas time. This gave the effect of stage lights turning on for all the world to see. This usually scared my dates away.

Dad fostered independence in me and my sister. He thought it was fun when we turned 21 to give us a 6 pack of good micro brew and say, "so I guess you are your own now." He supported us in OUR decisions, would listen to us and give advice when we asked for it. He let us fail on our own and succeed. Luckily, he never had to bail us out of jail for I think he would have let us sit there for a while.

Dad died too early. He was only 61 years old. He got very sick and died a month later. He wouldn't have wanted to linger in sickness and we didn't let him. He knew we loved him very much and I knew he loved me too. I miss you dad.